The other day I was talking to my therapist and she asked me something along the lines of what makes you happy? Later in the day, I was still thinking about this and thought maybe it would be a good topic to write about some day. That night, I started watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and in the first episode the main character changes her life after seeing an ad for butter that asks what makes you happy. After watching this, I knew it was a sign that this was a topic I needed to write about. So here we go.
It’s such a simple question, but at the same time it’s such a difficult one to answer. As I think about it, I can think of many things that make me happy: reading, writing, hanging out with my family, friends and cat, cross-stitching, among other things. Then I started thinking, is this really what this question is asking? I mean all those things do make me happy, but it’s an in-the-moment happiness that goes away when I finish the activity. Not that these things aren’t important, and this happiness isn’t important as well, but what makes me truly happy in a lasting way? What makes me feel like a better person? What makes me smile and continues to make me smile? Hanging with my family, friends, and cat is something that definitely does this, but then what can I do on my own that gives me lasting happiness? How can I create this good-for-my-soul happiness?
Then my mind took a whole different turn. Maybe I was overthinking happiness, and instead of questioning what makes me happy I should just do things and see what happens. Then I was even more confused, and I still am. Happiness is honestly such a weird concept to me and I don’t even really know where to go to resolve all of this. I’m starting to learn that I think happiness comes in the moments where my worry goes away. I think that I struggle so much with this concept right now because my definition is changing and what makes me happy is also changing.
I volunteer for the Miss Garden Grove Organization, being in charge of the princess program. I can honestly say when I’m working with these princesses I am truly happy. It doesn’t matter what type of week I’m having, what my brain is telling me, what I’m worrying about, when I walk in and get to work with these girls everything goes away and I enjoy the moment. Maybe my problem with finding what makes me truly happy is that I am rarely living in the moment because I am constantly in worry. I think that if I were able to better live in the moment than I could start finding happiness in more things and hopefully become an all-around happier person.
I used to think that when it came to my career I just wanted to be the boss lady, that it didn’t really matter what I was doing as long as I was a strong successful business woman. I am starting to realize how incredibly wrong I was. I now know that I want to help people in life. That it doesn’t matter if I’m the boss or not, I’ll be happy as long as I am helping others and making a difference.
I went to bed last night without posting this because I just wasn’t quite sure if I was satisfied with this post. Then when I woke up this morning I opened my daily quote app and found this quote from Fredrick Koeing and realized this is exactly what my post was missing.
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather or recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”
So this is where I’m at right now. Trying to figure out how to find happiness in all things big and small. If you have any advice or comments on the topic, or just want to chat please don’t hesitate to reach out whether I know you or don’t.
Until next time. 💜